You'll
all have to excuse Sister Graff. She's been mentally "absent" the last
several weeks...and has been getting lazy with her emails home. Sorry.
Well...not sure where to begin.
I
think I hit the "low" on my mission these last three months. It was
hard. Just plain hard. So much has gone on that I simply can't begin to
explain in a paragraph (or even twelve) through this dumb computer. So I
won't try to. It's not worth my precious time on here, and besides it's
not good to dwell on stuff of that nature anyway.
I
will say, however, that I needed every moment. Every struggle. Every
person. Every rejection. It's changed me. I will never be the same
missionary again. Every day...I evolve a little more. Now, which
direction? That's up to me. That's up to each of us. We are constantly
changing whether we consciously choose to or not. It is something
inevitable and almost natural that occurs every moment of every day
without us even realizing it. We learn new things, and go through new
experiences all the time. More often than not, the things that occur to
us...are uncontrollable. How we react, however...now that's something to
think about, eh?
"There
are two ways of evolving: deliberately and accidentally. You can either
decide who you want to become and deliberately work toward that end, or
you can just go with the flow and become whatever life makes of you. In
that event, you will become whatever the fickle circumstances and
forces of life and society will make of you; whatever is currently
considered to be popular or in; whatever is easiest. But, whatever you
become accidentally it will not be nearly the full measure of our
potential. You will become just someone, somewhere in the middle."
~Lawrence E. Corbridge
The last two
transfers...I made a lot of mistakes, and I wasted the Lord's time. I
was "accidentally changed" you could say. But now, I know that I needed those lows...I needed those lows to see where I really want to be. The trick, however, is to have
that vision. I needed something hard to make me see that I never want
to be "that" missionary again. Never. I have already talked to the Lord
about it, and it will be different from here on out...I will be different from here on out.
And so...I guess you could say, that through my current decisions to learn from my experiences...and through setting wholesome, focused goals...I have
been changed for the better. I have a new outlook and appreciation for
missionary work that I lacked before. Now I have something to remember.
Something to always remind me of why I am here. Why I am truly here.
Because, let's get real...I could have never left any of you, if I
didn't know the pure and true doctrines of this Gospel, and that
although it would be a sacrifice, although it would be hard, it would be
worth it. That other would be able to have the opportunity to have the
same joy that we do.
...And aren't we lucky?...
I don't have time for much more right now, expect to say that I love you!!
Sister Graff
2Ne 33:10-11
PS--We had
transfers today. Sister Word went home, and I am now with Sister Clement
from Mesa, Arizona! And it is going to be so good :) I promise. I just
re-read my depressing email, and I swear I was not trying to get
sympathy, or scare all of you or anything. Life can just be a
roller-coaster sometimes...But you just have to learn to enjoy the ride!
:D
Pictures:
1. Last temple trip.
2. Brookside Gardens
Hna Engman (Utah) y Carcamo (Chile)
3. Hna Chappell y Clement
4. I don't even know.
5. Art.
6. Noche de Musica despues de cantamos "Hazme en la Luz" (please excuse the grossness).
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